


ruin my life

by josieswylie



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Diary, F/M, High School, Journal, Letters, Love, Romance, relationship, teen, trope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24149893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josieswylie/pseuds/josieswylie
Summary: they were each other’s everything. until they weren’t.
Relationships: Gina Porter & Nini Salazar-Roberts, Gina Porter/Nini Salazar-Roberts, Ricky Bowen & Gina Porter, Ricky Bowen/Gina Porter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14
Collections: love is not dying





	ruin my life

**Author's Note:**

> will be written as entries in gina's journal :)

October 9

Dear diary,

It’s been a long time since I’ve written in here, which is good. It means that I didn’t need to pour my feelings out into a stupid notebook instead of actually talking to someone like Nini or anybody else. Anyways, I have a crush. At least I think I do. His name is Ricky Bowen, he’s a senior and he sits next to me in math class. I thought seniors weren’t supposed to be in junior math classes since they have senior privilege or whatever, but I guess not. He’s so funny and nice and he’s actually really smart even though he looks high all the time. The thing is, I don’t know if it’s actually a crush. Do I just have like a friend crush on him or do I want to hold his hand and stuff? I really don’t know anymore. This sucks. I hate crushing on someone. But I’m glad that I like for sure know that he would never date me. Makes it easier to get over him. Someone’s gotta bring me back to reality.

A crushing Gina

\---------------

November 21

Dear diary,

So! I never got over Ricky. I actually kinda fell harder for him than before. He’s just so likeable. But what’s amazing is that today he asked me out on a date. Like a for real date, not a “study sesh” or whatever guys like to do. I didn’t even know that he liked me, and also why would he like me? I’m not even that special. There are like seven people I can name off the top of my head who are better than me and are crushing hard on Ricky. But I’m grateful that he asked me to go out. I can finally live out my lifelong dream to be the main character of a teen romcom. And I’m pretty sure it’s gonna go well. It’s not awkward between us, usually. We just kinda flow on the same wavelength, you know? I am kinda nervous though. What if it goes horribly and then it’s just awkward between us for the rest of high school or until he graduates? It’s gonna be fine, right?

Gina

\---------------

November 29

Dear diary,

I think I’m officially “taken.” This is so weird to write but I have a boyfriend. Oh my god, I’m a girlfriend. From my last entry, you can probably tell that the date went well. Like really well. We just talked for hours and it was really nice. He just got me, if that makes any sense. We’ve been on like 4 dates already and I enjoyed every single one. Just being around him makes me feel good about myself. When I’m near him, he makes me feel, I don’t know, happy. Ricky’s literally so cheesy. But I think it’s cute. He brought a rose to school one day and gave it to me at my locker while saying, “a rose for my rose.” It was pretty romantic, not gonna lie and I blushed big time. Also he gave me a nickname, Gigi. It’s cute I guess, but what’s even better is that I get to call him Rick. That name makes him sound like he’s a 50 year old redneck. Ricky really is the best, huh.

Ricky’s Girlfriend

\---------------

December 15

Dear diary,

Something huge happened today. I had my first kiss. I know it’s late because people usually do it on the first date or second but I wanted it to be special. And I wanted to be ready. I wanted it to be with someone special and at that time he wasn’t yet. I always dreamt that my first kiss would be in like a field of flowers and we would just run to each other and smush faces, but that’s not how it went. It wasn’t anything remotely like that, and I’m pretty fine with it. Our kiss wasn’t even in a romantic place or a huge grand gesture. We were just in the stairwell during break and he asked to kiss me. And I said yes. It was amazing, he’s really good, I think. I haven’t kissed anyone else so I don’t know if he’s actually good. I’m happy it was private though and not in like the hallway or front of the school with everybody. I’m glad that it was intimate. 

Gigi

\---------------

February 14

Hey again!

Sorry, I wanted to try a new greeting but I don’t think it works out that well. It’s Valentine’s day today and this is like the first year I’ve actually enjoyed this holiday since I now have someone to spend it with. Ricky is literally the best. He decorated my locker and gave me a teddy bear. It’s so cliche, I know, but I love it. It’s been what, like 6 months ever since we started dating? So weird to think that a silly little crush turned into an amazing relationship. Ricky’s amazing. I don’t know how I lasted that long without knowing him. Ricky is just, is just perfect. I can’t name a single really bad thing about him. Sure he’s kind of annoying when he wants my attention, but I don’t care at all. He just makes me feel warm inside, if that’s a real thing. Like whenever I look at him, I get butterflies in my stomach because he’s just Ricky. And when I’m with him and he’s holding my hand I just feel happy. Like I’m on the top of the world. Maybe it’s just Valentine’s day that’s got me in a lovey dovey mood.

Gina

\---------------

March 16

Dear diary,

It’s so weird that I keep on writing entries months apart. Something feels different between me and Ricky. I don’t know what it is but something changed. It might’ve been me because I realized that he’s going off to college in a few months. We were aware of it at first, like even on our first date he reminded me that he’s leaving. He’s told me multiple times when we’re just hanging out or something that he wants to get away from this town. That there are too many bad memories with it. But I remind him that I’m here. Because I am. And yes, I have thought about what would happen to us if he went to New York or California for college. I don’t know what would happen. Everybody knows that long distance relationships never work out, and it will be worse next year when I go to college and it’s far away. He’ll miss out on my senior prom. But I don’t wanna think about that right now. We still have time.

Gina

\---------------

April 4

Dear diary,

I’m scared. I’m really scared. I don’t want to lose him. I need him. I love him. Yes I did just say the L words but it’s true. I love Ricky. And I’m too scared to lose him. His final college decisions are coming today and they’re both his dream colleges, and they’re both so far away. I wanna try long distance, I really do, but I don’t know if I can.I wish that he could stay in Salt Lake with me but I know that another year here would be miserable for him and I don’t wanna see him like that. If I just savor the good memories it’ll all be better, right? If I just think about our first date, my first kiss, the times he walked me to class. I can’t believe I was so careless back then, that I forgot that he’s leaving. If I had remembered, I would’ve done more with him instead of going to hang out with Nini or something. I don’t want this to end. 

Gina

\---------------

July 23

Dear diary, 

We only have like a month before he leaves for New York, and I still don’t know where we stand in our relationship. He keeps on telling me to “savor the moment” or something like that. And I’m trying really hard to, but every time I see his face I think about how I wouldn’t be able to see him for a long time. I want to be happy for him because he got into his dream college but it’s hard. We’ve been hanging out almost everyday because I actually do wanna cherish our time left. I feel like our relationship is in a sand clock that’s slowly running out. I love Ricky and I haven’t told him yet because I know it’s too late and it’ll just make everything worse. I can’t wait any longer for my heart to get broken. 

Gina

\---------------

August 17

Dear diary,  
He broke up with me and left for New York last week. It was inevitable. Not all couples are meant to be together, I guess. I knew it was gonna happen, I just didn’t think it would be that fast. We haven’t even been together for a year and it’s already ended. I knew that we were just too good to be true. Today’s the first day of school. And a new start for me which I desperately need. I’m gonna be fine without him. I’m gonna try to be fine without him. I don’t wanna be the girl that got her heartbroken over the summer. That’s old Gina. This is the new and improved Gina. I regret something though. I regret that I didn’t tell him I loved him. I still love Ricky but I wish I told him that before he left. Just as a final goodbye or something. I can’t be sad today. I miss him already. I guess that’s why people say, “if you love them, let them go.”

Gigi

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! see you tomorrow


End file.
